Child Wonders Around Home and Destroys House

WARNING - Written with Extreme Sarcasm and Humor...

This week marked my third month working from home as a Realtor for Keller Williams Realty and playing the Stay at Home Dad role.

Tuesday I sat in with the Roseville Big Band and it went surprisingly well and I managed to get added to their sub list.

Wednesday is where the fun at home started…

I started revamping some things related to work and Nicole had some late nights coaching at the college. My first task was to upload about 300 contacts into an online database, but unfortunately the program didn’t like my spreadsheet and I was stuck entering them one at a time. In the mean time Robert managed to tear our home apart.

As of Friday morning we have no kitchen and no living room. Robert has managed to tear apart everything in the lower cabinets - all the plastic containers and glass, which I caught before he could get very far with, have been scattered across the kitchen floor. After he crawled into the bottom drawer of the stove, see below, he ventured into the living room and emptied out his toy chest and scattered his books.

The floors in the kitchen and living room cannot be seen.

This isn’t the only mess that has accumulated. The kitchen counters and stove have seen better days. Meals where prepared, but clean up could not be done because...never mind that.

Not only is the living room and kitchen a disaster, but Robert has not emptied his diaper pail for days. I give him one little job and he can’t even do that. He can clear the tables and dust the floor, but he can’t even take out his trash. The next time this child cries he’s going to bed.

I would have taken more pictures of the house, but I don't think anyone could stomach the mess. Not just the mess made by the child, but the mess that has accumulated on the kitchen counters.

Here’s an after shot…not for the faint at heart.

This was just the inside. You haven’t even seen the outside. Evidently Mother Nature doesn’t like me either. Last week I finished picking up leaves and then she goes and dumps a bunch more on my lawn. I can’t even see my grass OR my deck.

In finally finished uploading and auditing my contacts this morning and was going to start cleaning when Robert took his first nap this morning. He’s decided not to nap, but instead to jump up and down in his crib. He thinks it’s pretty funny. We’ll see how funny it is when he’s stuck up there for a while.

As of this afternoon some of the cleaning has been completed. The trash and BAGS of trash have been hauled out as well as the dirty diapers Robert won’t clean up. This kid really needs to start pulling his weight, literally. I can walk through the house again and the counters are cleared. I ended up ordering lunch since preparing it would have meant standing on my head while doing a waltz on the ceiling.

The only thing left is the leaves and I think I managed to forget the dogs out in the rain one of the days. I don’t know why they didn’t speak up. Can’t they bark? I’ll be having a talk with Mother Nature this afternoon since we’ll be in Red Wing over Halloween.

Some Side Notes

Little kids at this age really don’t need toys just let them wonder around your house.

While cleaning up I may have tossed some things that shouldn’t have been tossed.

I Talked with Nicole earlier today and she said she would make it up to me. I’ll believe that if I see pigs flying past my home or a blue moon tonight. If that is the case…I want a big porterhouse steak sautéed with mushrooms, onions and green peppers. Along with a baked potato fully loaded and an ice cold coke. Yes coke, not beer.

Real mean clean, but we have our own methods. Here is a picture of the results.

As I finish this post I notice some child walking around with a devilish look.

That kid is grounded.